I have a bad habit of letting my nerves get the best of me. I used to sing in my High School choir and whenever I had a solo, prior to the show, I would clam up and not talk to anyone. My fear was that I would forget my words in the middle of the song and my life would be over. It sounds a little dramatic but that's what I thought! Instead of talking to my friends backstage, I would review the words over and over again in my head and let fear get the best of me. Once I was on stage, starting my solo, I was fine! I had nothing to worry about.
It is funny how complex our minds are. We can dwell on fear and let it take over or we can choose to not give it any power. I remember being so nervous to even try out for Madrigals (the elite choir…I know, nerd, right?) my Freshman year that I almost went home instead of going to the try outs for fear of singing in front of the upperclassmen. I was sitting in my last class of the day (before tryouts) and I thought to myself, I could just leave. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm leaving. But I knew that I would be so disappointed in myself if I would have left. Because I wanted to try out for Madrigals. I almost let fear dictate my life. I decided to go ahead and go to the try out and I'm so glad I did because I ended up making it into Madrigals. I am so glad I faced my fear and tried out because if I hadn't done that, I would have missed out on some of the best memories from High School.
I think we have all felt that way at one time or another. I read a quote somewhere that says, "If it doesn't scare you, it's not worth doing." I guess there is some truth and healthiness to getting nervous. According to this quote, if it is important enough, you should be nervous. But it is just as important to not allow the nerves and fear to cripple you and detour you from your God-given purpose.
I'm going to be honest and vulnerable here. I still get nervous. I still sing at church and I still get nervous. I do a lot of things that make me really nervous. I have no reason to be, but the fear is still there. But if I let fear run my life, I won't be doing what God has called me to do. And I refuse to do that.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.
All The Best,